Keep reading! Don't stop just because I said "hockey" you Americano estupido!
Yes, Spring is here, and you know what that means! Allergies, Daylight Savings Time, and Hockey Playoffs! Hockey is not my #1 favorite sport (football and baseball take the cake), but it is definitely up there. Why? Well, for starters, when you have a father nearing half a century who still plays ice hockey weekly, it's hard not to get addicted. And second, there are so many intriguing and hilarious elements of the sport that make it, well, unique, among normal team sports. See below.
The Penalty
Basketball has fouls, football & golf have 'penalties,' and in soccer they hold up colored cards while people whine (sounds juvenile to me!) But in hockey, you do something wrong (a "penalty") and they take you out of the game for 2 minutes. Now I know some soccer buff will respond that something like that happens in soccer, but, c'mon, when you have 11 guys, half of whom are standing around, it's not as big of a deal. In hockey, they take away 20% of your movable players! And if one of the remaining 4 players commits a penalty, he's gone too, and you're 2 men down!
The Penalty Box
Directly related to the above, when you do something wrong, they put you in a box by yourself (plus one guy in a suit who opens the door for you) on the other side of the rink. That's hilarious.
High-Sticking
If you hit another player with your "high" stick, you get a penalty (2 minutes). However, if the other player is injured (which means 'if he is bleeding') your penalty is raised to 4 or 5 minutes long, at the ref's discretion! The presence of blood generally determines the severity of the penalty, a rule unlike any other sport!
The Playoff Beard
Many teams or sports have superstitions or traditions (the rally cap, the rally monkey, a cute little cheer), but rarely are these traditions universal within the sport. In hockey, no matter your team, age, or ability to grow facial hair, the players will not shave until they are eliminated from the playoffs. Which results is several large, burly, hairy men playing hockey with a few quick skinny guys with approximately 7 hairs on their face. Classic.
The Playoffs
Every sport is affected by referees, which usually is unfortunate. However, no team sport is less affected by referees than the NHL playoffs- I think they forget their whistles. It is absolutely brutal. If you don't know what I mean, the Ducks open the playoffs Thursday night against the Sharks. And there will be blood. Side note- In almost every other sport, players incessantly complain about 'bad calls' or 'fouls.' In hockey, players generally shake their head, spit, and go to the penalty box (see above!)
The price received vs. The price paid
Basketball players play 82 games and speak of fatigue down the stretch. Baseball players play 162 games and speak of the 'dog days of summer.' NFL has only 16 games! They got nothing on hockey! In each sport, the players are paid through the roof. In hockey, a star may command a $8 million salary (compared to the $20 million salaries of the NBA, MLB, etc.) However, those who are in higher paid sports do not nearly pay the same physical price as a hockey player. I mean, where else do you see a guy drop down and take a 100mph puck off his leg 2 times within 10 seconds, limp off the ice, and make 1.5 million a year? Over 82 games? That's right, nowhere!
These intriguing tidbits are what makes hockey a man's -or at least a mann's - game...
I remember taking you to a pro hockey game when you were ten sweet days old!
ReplyDeleteMann! I have to go back and watch Happy Gilmore to see if they threw in the beard thing. This has been an eye-opening experience for me. Although you have not created a fan, you have at least given me appreciation for A sport.
ReplyDelete