On the balance of Ministry and Marriage...

At times, I've heard others (and wondered myself) about the balance and tension between loving my spouse/family vs. serving in ministry. The below story, taken from Gary Thomas' Sacred Marriage, helped paint a very insightful picture for me. Enjoy.

"A campus pastor named Brady Bobbink decided to take Scripture’s admonitions about love seriously. Brady married relatively late in life. He had become well known as a speaker on discipleship and single living, and he was in high demand, with plenty of opportunities to “serve God” through his gift of teaching.

When Brady asked Shirley to become his wife, life changed dramatically. Shirley had two children from a previous marriage, and it wasn’t long before Shirley and Brady began to pray about having a child of their own.

“What would it mean for me to love my wife in this situation?” Brady asked himself. In prayer, Brady made a pledge. If Shirley had another baby, for the first year he wouldn’t accept any outside speaking engagements other than the ones his current position required him to take. Shirley subsequently became pregnant and gave birth to their first boy, Micah. 

Months later, Brady received a lucrative opportunity to speak in Singapore. Brady is a student of history and loves to travel. The chance to go to the Far East was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, plus it would give him the chance to teach Christians from another culture.

He excitedly told Shirley about this great opportunity, then remembered his pledge midway through his conversation, and said out loud, “I can’t go.” 

Shirley tried to release Brady from his pledge. “Honey, I’ll be fine,” she said.

It would have been easy for Brady to play religious games here. “I certainly could have justified it on a noble idea,” he admitted, “preaching to another culture, but if that had really been my passion, I would have moved there and taken my wife and kids with me.” 

Some might think Brady was passing up an opportunity to please God by taking his gospel message to another nation, but Brady realized he could please God by loving his wife in a season in which she needed extra help and attention. To stay home and care for his wife in her need was every bit as much “Christian service” as leaving his hometown to go preach the gospel when he was single. 

“To fail to love my wife and kids rightly in the name of loving other people rightly is a sham,” Brady insists.