Living in Fear

It is often taken as a sign of weakness to "live in fear." We claim that we don't want to be afraid, and we don't want our lives to be dictated by something outside ourselves. To fear something or someone is essentially to allow our actions, decisions, and behavior to be shaped by them. We give the ones we fear reverence or respect by considering them in all elements of our lives. 

Understandably, we don't want to live in fear of things: people, of illness, or tragedy, or hardship. Heck, one of the most comforting commands in Scripture is "Fear not" (Is. 41:10; Lk. 2:10). However, there is a healthy type of fear...and Jesus commands that we live in it.

Let's set the scene. Jesus has walked with his disciples for several months. They have aided in his ministry and learned from his actions and his teaching. But they have not yet gone out alone and ministered; they have always been physically alongside their Rabbi. In Matthew 10, Jesus is about to send them out...alone. He will not physically go with them, and they will teach, preach, heal, pray, and minister on their own. I imagine they felt a host of emotions: excitement, anxiety, anticipation, humility, and, maybe above all, fear.

Understanding this, Jesus exhorts them (and, by extension, exhorts us as well): "So have no fear of them [those who persecute you], for nothing is covered that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. What I tell you in the dark, say in the light, and what you hear whispered, proclaim on the housetops. And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul" (Matt. 10:26-28)

Jesus' words enter to free them of certain fear. But he doesn't stop there. He frees us from certain fear, but he also subjects us to another type of fear.

"Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell."

Jesus is saying that we all "fear" something or someone. As we live our lives, something is enthroned with power and authority, and we bow the knee each day. Sometimes, we hesitate to speak God's Word, as we fear co-workers, classmates, or our own status. Sometimes, we hesitate to pray for our world, as we fear inconvenience, sacrifice, and time. 

The disciples in Matthew 10, on the verge of their first "mission trip" were in the same boat that we find ourselves in. And Jesus' message remains the same. We must live in fear. Not of people, or personal reputation, or pleasure, or status. We must live in fear of the Sovereign One, who gave us life, gave us forgiveness, and who will someday judge us.

"In God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me?" (Psalm 56:11)

Becoming a community of disciples...

I came across this quote in Josh Harris' Stop Dating the Church, a phenomenal little read. The fact remains that Jesus did not merely call us as individuals to be worshipers, evangelists, ambassadors, and disciples, but rather he called us to be a community of disciples. Josh Harris quotes Eric Lane as saying...


"To be a member of a family is to belong to a community bound by a common fatherhood. To be a stone in his temple means to belong to a worshiping community. To be a part of a body means to belong to a living, functioning, serving, witnessing community. Put together, you have the main functions of an individual Christian. Evidently, we are meant to fulfill these not on our own, but together in the church."


Josh Harris concludes...


"He's right. We can't live out our Christian lives on our own. When we're saved from our sin, we become part of something bigger than ourselves- a family, a body, a temple."

Loving Jesus

A group from my church has been reading Francis Chan's Crazy Love. We have recently wrestled with the question, What does it mean to love Jesus? We talk loving Jesus alot, we sing about it in songs, and I know that many of us have experienced it, but how do we define it? Forgive me if the following raises as many questions as it does answers!

As I talk to fellow believers about our walks with the Lord, often time they say things are going well or not well because "I have (not) read my Bible and prayed daily." I often analyze my walk in the same way. Now these are good and necessary spiritual disciplines without a doubt, but we can't say that daily Bible time and daily prayer is the definition or sum of loving Jesus. Also the following verses and comments affect my thoughts...

John 14:15- "If you love me, you will keep my commandments..." This doesn't means that the essence of love is necessarily commandment-keeping. Or does it? It seems that commandment-keeping is a result of love for Jesus. For example, "If I love Kelley, I will pray for her..." Praying for her is not the sum or essence of love, but a result (or proof) that love is present. Maybe, maybe not?

1 John 5:3- "For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome." Here it seems that John does equate love for Jesus with obedience/commandment-keeping. However, he adds that this obedience happens in such a way that it is not a burden! What does that mean? True love for Jesus, it seems, is obeying His commands- and being glad to do it! But then, if that's the case, how do we ever love Jesus through trials and hard times that are very "burdensome"?

1 Corinthians 13:3- "If I give away all that I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing." This seems to argue against many definitions I've heard of "agape" love, that it is simply and heartlessly choosing to sacrifice. Paul uses grand examples of willing sacrificial acts (giving away all possessions, giving oneself over to horrible death), but says that those crazy things can be done - without love.

I ask and struggle through all this because I am simply unsatisifed with equating my spiritual walk and love for the Lord with a few daily hoops to jump through. Feel free to comment.

Enjoy the bloom

The above flower is a hibiscus. Her name is Heidi. I bought her for Kelley on future Mothers' Day.

We love our hibiscus because she is so very rewarding. We planted her and watered her and every now and then (like good parents) we re-potted her. And every few days, especially during the warm season, she puts out these huge, gorgeous flowers. And we subsequently stand at our backyard balcony door, pull out the camera and take a few pics.

We never attempt to take credit for the awesomeness of a hibiscus flower. Never once while enjoying these blooms have Kell and I got in a fight over who should get credit for the flower's health. "I watered it last! I made this happen, babe!" "Oh yeah? But if I didn't re-pot it while you were watching baseball, the petals would never be this pink, now would they?" That would be stupid to argue over! We simply enjoy the bloom.

Paul compares the ministry of the church to cultivating a plant. "So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. He who plants and he who waters are one, and each will receive his wages according to his labor. For we are God's fellow workers..." (1 Cor. 3:7-9).

In the life of my church, many people have come to know Jesus as their Savior, sometimes people I have conversations with. I'm sure in your group of friends you have people who are interested in becoming a Christian, or interested in killing sin and committing their lives to Christ more fully. And you know what? We all play a part. It doesn't matter what part you play. You can be an example. You can offer instruction, comfort, teaching, encouragement, and prayers that draw others closer to the Lord. And guess what? You don't need to be a pastor, a worship leader, or an elder to do this.

Do you realize that you are God's fellow workers? It does not matter if you are in front of the church, or befriending people by the donut table in the back (save me a maple bar). What matters is that you work hard and get your hands dirty for the kingdom, and when God moves, step back and enjoy the bloom.

Are we more connected?

Much emphasis these days is on "being connected." We have instant access to information, communication, and relationships. Sites like Facebook & Twitter (not to mention old-school email) allow us instant communication with our friends & acquaintances. We can see pictures of these individuals, hear stories of the joys & frustrations of their weekends, and see all the annoying things they "like" or "dislike." And all of this can be done from a cell phone on a freeway!

Honestly, sites like Facebook are pretty cool. A great way to stay in touch, to stay connected. But are we really more connected now? Are we better friends? Are we closer to one another because of Facebook and other instant online communication? I say no, not necessarily...


Let me explain. Facebook is a great tool to enhance friendships. But it is a horrible replacement for face-to-face, voice-to-voice relationships. Facebook can give me information on what friends, family, and acquaintances are up to and how they are enjoying it. But the key is what do I do with this information? Do I encourage? Do I pray? Do I serve?


My main contention with Facebook's monopoly on interpersonal relationships is that you cannot fulfill the biblical "one-anothers" sufficiently via Facebook:
- "Love one another" (John 13:35; 15:12; 7 times in 1/2 John). 
- "Outdo one another in showing honor...Live in harmony with one another" (Romans 12).
- "Instruct one another (Romans 15:14). 
- "Comfort one another" (2 Cor. 13:11). 
- "Serve one another" (Gal. 5:13). 
- "Bear one another's burdens" (Galatians 6:2). 
- "Be kind to one another" (Eph. 4:32). 
- "Encourage one another" (1 Thess. 5:11; Hebrews 3:13; 10:25). 
- "Do good to one another" (1 Thess. 5:15). 
- "Confess your sins to one another" (James 5:16). 
- "Show hospitality to one another" (1 Peter 4:9).


I'm sorry, but I do not think that we can fulfill all these commands through online, virtual interaction.


Once again, use Facebook. But use it, not primarily to pass time or be entertained with the pics, comments, and posts of others (very funny at times). Use the information you gain from Facebook to enhance your relationships, fellowship, friendships, evangelism, and to fulfill the above convicting list of God's commands to one another!


I would write a little more, but I think I have a few notifications that I must checkup on...

Apathy- Spiritual Nakedness

I have noticed in many of my peers a heightened interest in health, dieting, and exercise. There are generally 2 components to getting in shape. First, you have to quit some unhealthy practices, like eating Taco Bell for every third meal or playing World of Warcraft 28 hours a day. Second, you have to start some active and healthy practices, like exercising or playing a sport. If you don't do both of these things together- quitting unhealthy practices and starting healthy practices- the quest for fitness will be greatly hindered.

And it's the same way with our spiritual lives. Following Christ by faith not only means that we stop doing things that don't honor Him, but also that we start doing things that do honor Him.


In my relative few years of counseling and teaching, both at my college and at my church, I have noticed that most of my fellow Christians aren't stuck in any blatant, crazy sin. What I have observed is that while many of have eliminated (or hidden really well) "huge sins" that dishonor Jesus, we also don't practice positive things for Jesus. We are apathetic. Let me explain. Many of us don't have a problem with murders, affairs, monetary fraud, drugs, alcoholism or child abuse. But many of us also don't practice things God's Word clearly tells us to do: evangelism, missions, disciplined Bible Study, giving money generously toward Kingdom work, ceaseless prayer, Biblical confrontation and restoration, helping the poor, or assisting the addict. In effect, we are the person who has stopped eating Taco Bell all the time, but we still refuse to get up and work out. As a result, we are not nearly in as healthy a spiritual condition as we should be. We are an apathetic people, glad that Jesus has saved us from hell, but confused and careless about the tasks we must pursue passionately while on earth following Christ.

The Bible teaches in Ephesians 4:22-24 that followers of Jesus should indeed remove all sins that dishonor Christ- "put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires." But we should also positively pursue Christ likeness- "put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness." If we only "put off" and refuse to "put on", we are spiritually naked, with no change and passion to show the world. Don't be an apathetic Christian. Remove dirty clothes that dishonor Christ, but don't forget to put on clean clothes that bring Him glory.

No Excuses

And a scribe came up and said to him, “Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go.” And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” Another of the disciples said to him, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” And Jesus said to him, “Follow me, and leave the dead to bury their own dead.” (Matthew 8:19-22)

In the passage above, we see 2 characters express a desire to follow Jesus. Jesus had been calling disciples to himself with the simple command, "Follow me." Each individual has an excuse for not following Jesus in that moment. One wants to wait until his father dies and he receives his inheritance. One is afraid to leave his hometown. But Jesus demands obedience greater than these examples.

As a follower of Jesus, we too often resemble the characters above. Jesus commands us to follow, and our most frequent response is, "Wait." Many times, we claim that we are trying to "figure out God's will" or say that we are waiting for guidance, direction, or a specific calling from God.

There is nothing wrong with trying to figure out what God wants. But I fear that many of us use this as an excuse to not follow Jesus, like the 2 characters above. I don't recall many of us waiting to watch Avatar or Twilight 12 times until God led us in that direction. When the Angels' game is on, I don't pray to determine whether I should watch or not- I simply watch & cheer (I should probably pray for their mediocre record this year!). My wife doesn't wait for a sign from heaven when Nordstrom Rack is having a sale!  Many of us don't wait to see if God wants us to buy those new clothes, or play that new video game, or head straight to the beach at the first sign of a south swell. No, rather, we simply do those things we love to do.

Maybe you don't know what God wants you to do with your whole life. Maybe you are torn between being a brain surgeon and kick-boxer, and that's ok. But God has given you today, and he has filled His Word with clear directions about what to do today. Be a light (Matt. 5:13-16). Love your neighbor (Matt. 22:37-40). Love your enemies (Luke 6:27-36). Be holy (1 Peter 1:15-16). Rejoice in the Lord (Phil. 4:4). Give thanks and pray always (1 Thess. 5:17-18). And, trust me, there's more.

No one devours a whole tri-tip in one bite (though some of my college friends could challenge that assertion). And no one lives a whole life in a day. Open God's word, and find a bite-sized portion, and (drumroll please) apply it to your life. Today. No excuses.

Rock

It is reported that nearly 1 in 10 adults have what is classified as "mood disorders," most of whom are categorized as being "depressed." One of the leading causes of such depression is "trauma and stress." It seems like a reasonable connection. People go through really challenging events in their lives, and they end up in prolonged, relentless states of sadness and emptiness.

I cannot profess to be an expert on depression. I can't say I've ever personally struggled with it, though am very close with some who have. Some Christians would debate on the validity of medications such as antidepressants and otherwise. I don't wish to do that here. Whatever it is, and whatever combinations may cause it, it is clear that a large amount of adults deal with it, and a wide variety of cures & aides are suggested. Whatever the case may be, the largest ammunition humans have to fight their bouts of depression is the truth God's Word. When earthquakes strike, the buildings with firm foundations stand. When lightning & fire ravage the forest, the tall & strong Sequoia trees live on. And I believe there is a solid foundation offered to us in the example of David.

If you or I think we experience "trauma and stress," I'd like to posit that David experienced more. Consider the below:
- David is anointed to be God's chosen King over Israel (1 Samuel 16).
- Saul (the current king AND David's father-in-law!) tries to spear David twice while David is playing music for Saul (1 Samuel 18).
- Saul gives David military tasks, hoping David would die in battle (1 Sam. 18).
- Saul orders his servants and his family to kill David (1 Sam. 19)
- Saul tries to spear David a third time (1 Sam. 19).
- Saul chases David through the wilderness attempting to kill him. David has a chance to kill Saul, but spares his life. This happened TWICE (1 Sam. 24 & 26).
- Wars occur between Saul's family & David's kingdom (2 Sam. 3).
- David's son, Amnon rapes one of David's daughters, Tamar. David's son, Absalom, then murders Amnon for revenge. Absalom then revolts against David's kingdom. Yikes (2 Sam. 13-18).

As you can easily see, much of David's life was covered by the blackness of family drama, fear for his life, and trouble at work. And yet, read below what David himself writes when recalling these decades of drama (read it slowly, and read it a few times).

Psalm 18:1-2- "I love you, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold."

Consider those words: strength, rock, fortress, deliverer, refuge, shield, stronghold. These are words of power and safety. These are words describing the immovable foundation that upheld David's life during decades of drama, stress, and likely depression. Reflecting on those years summarized above, David's conclusion is that a life founded on our unchanging God and his promises is a safe, secure life to live.

Everyone has a rock. Some found their lives on friends, sports, work, money, popularity, hobbies, sleeping, facebook, blogging, reading, self, love, or family. These "rocks" are things we feel we need, that we must have in order to function properly.  These are foundations on which we build our lives, and everyone's got one. The question is whether your rock of choice can actually hold you, protect you, and guide you through the good & bad of life. The depression- or a wide variety of other struggles that often plague us- will come, and it may injure us for a time. But God our Rock will uphold, will protect, will sustain. Don't take it from me. Take it from David. 


Whether stoked out of your mind this morning or depressed & in the dumps, what efforts are we making to set God alone as our Rock?

Progressive Sanctification and God's Patience

My wife and I had a great conversation recently on struggling with sin. The question came up as to why God would save His people from their sin and yet somehow allow us to still sin. If I am really a redeemed creature, why wouldn't God make me perfect on Day 1? Why still allow me to sin against him and struggle daily? In my uber-finite human wisdom, it doesn't seem to make much sense as to why our Heavenly Father would allow his children to remain in the self-inflicted muck...

Now, certainly, God's will for me is perfection. Paul said as much: "By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? ... So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus" (Romans 6:2, 12). But why in his great plan does he not immediately remove me not only from sin's punishment, but also from it's practice?

My answer to this question is from some bible inferences & my own experience. (If anyone has biblical support for this specific idea, please pass it along.) We know that all God does is to show his glory and thus receive the praise he is due. This can range from the creation of man (Is. 43:7), the creation of the heavens and earth (Ps. 19:1), to the salvation of mankind (Eph 1:3-14). So we know that God chose to not make us perfect right away and that this glorifies him somehow.

My estimate is this. God certainly had the power to make us perfectly holy right away. But it would not allow him to show the fullness of his discipline and patience that he, as Father, has on us, His children. If I never messed up in my family as a child, I would never have experienced the mercy & patience that sometimes my dad gave me by not dealing out a hefty swat. 

It is likewise with our Heavenly Father. Every time we stumble, "he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 Jn. 1:9). We see firsthand the patience of God as he leads us on to holiness, one step at a time. It is a patience that we would not experience in the same way if we were immediately made perfect upon our conversion. No, his patience does not excuse our all-too-frequent-sin- "What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound?" (Rom. 6:1). But our status as an "already, but not yet, resurrected, fallen man" enables us to experience God in a deeper way, and praise him with a deeper passion, and shine for him with a brighter testimony.

Therefore, we claim with Paul, "But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life" (1 Tim. 1:16).

Here's one for the "I suck" moments...

My wife jokes that after a sermon or Bible Study that didn't go exactly as amazingly as I had planned, that I experience "I suck" moments. I anticipated a deep & passionate response to the study, and at the end it all felt pretty mundane. The comment below from a pastor really helped me to think long term about my all-too-mediocre teaching ministry. Apparently, when "I suck," God still rules! (HT Justin Taylor)

"All is not lost when the after-sermon desert offers no water. This moment may have been meant to prepare some for what they have yet to face. It may be meant to call out to others months from  now when they are more heedless or needy than they are today. It may serve as one more evidence of the hardness of one’s heart. It may serve as one more piece in a puzzle God is putting together for another–the picture will not complete for some time, but completeness will not happen without the corner-piece offered by the sermon today. Those who are changed seemingly in a moment by your sermon today have had multiple moments of God’s working prior. Take heart. There is seed there though it lay beneath the ground. Step out into the barren field dear friend, and pray for His rain to fall."

Counting the seconds vs. Counting the cost...

A few weeks ago, as I was driving home from the beach, I thought, "I wonder if Tiger is winning the PGA Championship." Then I immediately thought of several ways that I could obtain this information within seconds, even though the tournament was being played 1,903 miles away. I could flip on the radio, and 710 ESPN will have updates every 20 mins or so. I could hop on the internet on my phone (while hiding it from cops) and quickly get this information within seconds.

Often times, when it comes to obtaining information, we are impatient when cell service is bad, the internet is down, or the TV has bad reception (yes, I still have a "rabbit ears" antenna!). We 'count the seconds' until we can obtain this information. In fact many successful industries make it their sole purpose to make the world smaller, to make you and me more "connected" to anyone and anything from anywhere.

I really do love this. I love that I can follow the Angels from Chino, even if they're playing in Chicago. I love that I can communicate instantaneously with great friends in Israel, England, Australia, New York, Texas, Washington, and basically any other location. However, I have seen in myself and in those believers around me a tendency that our "information age" has created. Everything is so simple, so efficient, so "google", so instantaneous- except spiritual growth. I can get you any information you may need in seconds (though if you ask me to do it for you I will send you a snide link to www.lmgtfy.com). But you or I cannot be like Jesus in seconds. We cannot learn the intracacies of God's Word or God's character in seconds. We cannot successfully evangelize to our friends in seconds. We cannot kill our sin in seconds. We cannot counsel each other through trials in seconds. Spiritual growth, discipleship, pursuing Christlikeness is something that bears fruit in years. It is a grand task for which we must count the cost.

Much of my spiritual struggle in my pursuit of Christ in post-college days has come because it is not easy, it is not "efficient" on the surface, and it doesn't always grant instant gratification. I also see many peers and fellow church members who seem to think that sanctification should be structured more like a Google Search or a Starbucks Drive-Thru.

But I humbly remind myself and you that we must count the cost. We are giving our lives to Jesus, and he is taking us on a journey of knowing him and becoming like him. You should pursue him this second, but results may not appear for you this second. His plans and his ways are much grander and much bigger than we can imagine. True commitment causes a pursuit of Christ, a study of His word, a commitment to church & discipleship to last for decades, not seconds. May we not allow our "counting the seconds" culture destroy our "counting the cost" discipleship.

"Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’"

Thoughts on Lust Part 2

I wrote the below in response to a question I got from a good friend about the last post. How do we do it? By grace, yes. And I pray there is grace enclosed in the below...Once again, these thoughts have undoubtedly been gathered from God's word, and counsel I've received from godly guys. If I used something one of you said to me once, don't get mad that I plagiarized, praise God that your counsel stuck with me!

Matt. 5:27- "I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart..."

Remember that what Jesus is talking about is looking at a girl with the purpose of lusting. That means looking at her and thinking about acting on the attraction. The attraction or presence of initial temptation is not wrong, since that's the way God wired us, but thinking on how you would fulfill that desire is sinful. Now practically speaking...

- REPLACE- Eph 4 tells us to "put off the old man...put on the new man"...What we need to realize is that you can never simply stop doing/thinking something sinful. You need to "replace" the sinful action with a "Godward" action. For example, turn the temptation into an opportunity to pray (it's funny how talking to God will chase away many a temptation!) Say, "Jesus, thank you for making women attractive. Please help show me how to serve the girls around me in a brotherly way so I can honor you and them, like you told me to in 1 Tim. 5:2. I thank you for my future wife and pray that I can honor her the best way possible. Thank you for the gift of sexuality and please help me to only act on it in accord with your word." You have just turned temptation into thanksgiving.

- RELOCATE- Make sure you are never putting yourself in harm's way. I never struggled with porn, but I knew which TV shows would have hot/semi-dressed girls on them. I knew that my Surfer magazine would have a few such ads. When I defeated my sin was often times when I didn't go near these areas of known temptation. We have enough temptation that simply comes up, we need relocate to avoid the ones we know clearly about! This principle applies here- "Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned? Or can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched?" (Prov 6:27-28). If you go into areas of known temptation, odds are, you will be scorched.

- REVERE- I literally think to myself, "What if Jesus comes back right now? Would I want my Lord and Savior to return to me thinking about that? Aren't there better things to be doing when the teacher walks back into the class than imitating her or stealing her answer keys?" True reverence for Jesus chases sin away. Often times, we don't just need a behavior change; we need a heart change that leads to a behavior change. A heart that bleeds Bible, that thinks lofty thoughts of Jesus, is a safeguard against giving in to quick temptation.

- REFLECT- Defeating lust is like marinating meat. You must let the ribs sit in the marinade for awhile so that the tasty goodness sinks in. In the same way, when you are tempted, act slowly. For me, God's promises may not "work" the first time I tell them to myself. I need to let my heart sit in the marinade of His word for awhile before I can "taste and see that the Lord is good" (Ps. 34:8). Don't act quickly. The best thing to do when temptation arises is slow your emotions and thoughts down and just reflect.

- REHEARSE- Your heart is a muscle and it must be worked out. When you first start running, lifting weights, or exercising, your muscles hurt like crazy, and you can't stand it. You almost want to quit (I usually do and go sit on the couch!) In the same way, spiritually, realize that your heart is a muscle, and defeating lust is not easy at all! It will require so much discipline, and will hurt like crazy alot of the time. But you must keep going. Many guys have problems because its too hard, and they think it should be easier. But it's not easy. Not at all. Real men don't give in to lust because it's too hard. That's wimpy. Real men conquer lust (with Jesus' power).

- REALIZE- That there is victory in Jesus. You can defeat your sin in His strength (the same power that rose Jesus from the dead is in you!) Don't buy into the lie that it cannot be done.

Thoughts for young men on lust...

"Your enemy the devil prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."

In my time walking with fellow young Christian men as an RA and in the local church, the struggle with lust seems to be a constant issue in someone's life. Being still a young man myself, I have listed several principles, in no particular order, that have helped me fight lust, and have helped others as well.

1. Sometimes you can't make it on your own. I have no idea what Bono was talking about in this U2 song by the same title, but I know it's true when it comes to lust. Actually, we can't ever make it on our own. What dudes need is a constant web of support from other godly guys.

2. Don't fake it. Hey the Bible (and even Jesus) knows that you're a sinner. And guess what- most people around you know it too (in fact, we are all pretty hideous in our own right). So when you fake it and pretend that things are going well, you just end up screwing yourself in the end. The message of the Bible when it comes to community is- I'm a sinner, you're a sinner, no surprises there. Now what are we, together, going to do to fight our sin? Boom shaka.

3. Take God at His word. There are some unbelievably scary things that the Bible says about lust. Let God's words soak in to your heart like hydrogen peroxide to an open wound, and sting you and kill all unholy thinking in you. Below is a little list of verses that I let speak to me over the years:

- Looking at a woman with lust is the same as having sex with her (Matthew 5:27-30) and bringing Jesus in the room to watch you do it (1 Cor. 6:15-17).

- Jesus says that a consistent lifestyle of unchecked lust means that you're not a child of God and you will be sent to hell. Do you feel the flames of hell when you're tempted? You should (Matt. 5:30)

- Lusting is acting as if you don't even know Jesus (1 Thess. 4:3-8). It is also giving the finger to the woman's future (or current) husband AND your future/current wife.

- Lusting is an inhumane & animal-like action that treats a woman like an object, not a person. I drool over ribeye, not over women (except my hot wife)...(Jer. 5:8).

- God looks at lust as if you were looking/acting at your sister (esp. if she's a fellow believer). My 2 sisters are both dating dudes right now (AC/DC) and the standard of living to all women who are not your wife should be "Would I be cool if I walked in on someone doing this to my sister? What would make me want to shake that guy's hand instead of ring his neck?" (1 Tim. 5:2).

4. Correspond your actions with REALITY. Porn/lust is easy because the women you look at aren't real. They never nag, never have a bad hair day, and never wake up on the wrong side of the bed. They're not real.

5. Live radically. Jesus says you should pull your eye out if it causes you to sin. His point is that you should live so radically and care about holiness so much, that you will sacrifice anything to please God. Not have internet in the house? On my phone? OMG that's so radical.

6. Don't kid yourself. Sexual desire is not wrong. Acting upon or fulfilling that desire in anyway on anyone or anything that is not your wife is hellishly (made that up?) wrong. Don't rationalize your sin by saying it's just one look, or you didn't actually do anything, or that every guy does it, etc, etc, etc. Don't make excuses. Be honest, ask God for help, ask your bros in Christ for help, and kill your sin.

7. Um, no, you haven't arrived. The moment you convince yourself that you have finally defeated your sin is the moment your sin begins to defeat you. If an army doesn't think there is a war, they are very susceptible to an attack. Keep your head on a swivel, because temptation is coming.

8. Do what Jesus did. In Matt. 4 & Luke 4, Jesus rid himself of temptation by appealing to God's word. Have a game plan for when temptation arises. What promises of God will you cling to? What lies is Satan telling you? How can God's word trump the lies of Satan? I always cling to Psalm 83:11- "No good thing does God withhold from him who walks uprightly." The lie of lust is often "You are missing out if you don't look/think/act. You are missing out on pleasure...." God says "No good thing are you missing out on if you follow my Word." If I believe that, it's a done deal, and I'm running out of the house of temptation naked like Joseph.

9. There is a way out. Take it. NOW! God says that there is always a way out in temptation (1 Cor. 10:13). However that "way out" may be at step 2 in the process of temptation. Sometimes, I asked God, "Why wasn't there a way out like you promised?" He said, "There was. It was just at a point far earlier than you expected, and you turned me down." Some of you do not need to go online alone at midnight. Your "way out" is before you turn the computer on. Some of you do not need to watch a movie alone in your room with homegirl. Your "way out" is before you closed that door. That being said, there is victory in Jesus. That's why he came and died for you- to make you holy (1 John 3:5!)

10. Worship God. Be Happy. Every practical struggle with lust comes down to an "idol" that you are desiring. It may be pleasure. It may be control. It may be comfort. It may be safety. The problem is that when you bow down to that god and let lust be the tool that your idol uses, you never actually get what you wanted. Maybe you struggled with porn because it is a relationship without rejection- power button, click, click, click, and you feel accepted! However, God has met all your needs in Christ. Need pleasure? Be satisfied in relationship with God and hang out with him (Phil. 3:8, Psalm 73:25-28, Psalm 27:4, Phil. 4:4). Need comfort? God is called the "God of all comfort" (2 Cor. 1:3). Need safety and security? God is your rock and refuge (Psalm 18:1-2). Need acceptance? How amazing that God has given you Jesus and accepts you as his child, not because of you, but because of Jesus! (1 John 3:1). Need control? No you don't! You need to relinquish control to the One who has promised to meet all your needs in Jesus (Phil 4:19). He also has said that nothing happens to you unless it is for your good and his glory (Rom. 8:28). So put God on his throne.

Life together...and death apart?

My sweet growing church just started a new series on biblical church and biblical community called "Life Together." This reminded me of one of the most challenging, encouraging and frightening verses to me on the importance of this topic.

Hebrews 3:12-13- "Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin."

FIRST, note that it is the responsibility of the community of believers to watch out for all other members. Not in a judgmental, nosy, gossipy way, but in an attitude of love, and care. The responsibility of the community is to make sure that no one has an "evil, unbelieving heart..."

SECOND, notice what the community should do to ensure the health of its believing members. "Exhort one another." Now, observe the relationship between these two clauses. The first clause ("exhort...") brings about the result of the second clause- "that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin." A causes B.

A- "Exhort one another." This is the command.
B- "that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin." This is the result/purpose.

The astounding implication here is that if we are not encouraged by fellow members of the church, we will be hardened. If you take away A, you will lose its result, B. Without encouragement, you and I will both grow hardened and deceived by our sinful tendencies. We all have weaknesses, blind spots, and tendencies, and we will indeed rationalize our sin- "You win every argument you have with yourself," as my old Dean used to continually say. So true.

The second implication is that your encouragement of others is crucial & necessary for them to avoid being deceived by sin and falling away. We truly gain 'life together,' but death apart!

Now, for those who may argue that we should 'mind our own business' and that encouragement and intimacy like this is 'nosy,' I would argue the following- Encouragement is loving. When I proofread your term paper and point out your grammatical and spelling errors, do I not have your own good in mind? When a climbing partner points out the dangers of the path his partner has taken, isn't he looking out for his buddy's best interest? Shoot, when you point out my open fly or the cream cheese on my face before the job interview, isn't that an act of love for me? In the same way, encouragement, correction, and instruction are not invasive, but life-giving acts of love.

How critical encouragement is to the health of our faith! And so I ask us the following...
1) Are you encouraging those in your lives? They need it to keep their faith!
2) Have you placed yourself in a position to receive consistent encouragement from others? How do you respond to their encouragement?

My encouragement to you- don't die away from the pack.