I wrote the below in response to a question I got from a good friend about the last post. How do we do it? By grace, yes. And I pray there is grace enclosed in the below...Once again, these thoughts have undoubtedly been gathered from God's word, and counsel I've received from godly guys. If I used something one of you said to me once, don't get mad that I plagiarized, praise God that your counsel stuck with me!
Matt. 5:27- "I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart..."
Remember that what Jesus is talking about is looking at a girl with the purpose of lusting. That means looking at her and thinking about acting on the attraction. The attraction or presence of initial temptation is not wrong, since that's the way God wired us, but thinking on how you would fulfill that desire is sinful. Now practically speaking...
- REPLACE- Eph 4 tells us to "put off the old man...put on the new man"...What we need to realize is that you can never simply stop doing/thinking something sinful. You need to "replace" the sinful action with a "Godward" action. For example, turn the temptation into an opportunity to pray (it's funny how talking to God will chase away many a temptation!) Say, "Jesus, thank you for making women attractive. Please help show me how to serve the girls around me in a brotherly way so I can honor you and them, like you told me to in 1 Tim. 5:2. I thank you for my future wife and pray that I can honor her the best way possible. Thank you for the gift of sexuality and please help me to only act on it in accord with your word." You have just turned temptation into thanksgiving.
- RELOCATE- Make sure you are never putting yourself in harm's way. I never struggled with porn, but I knew which TV shows would have hot/semi-dressed girls on them. I knew that my Surfer magazine would have a few such ads. When I defeated my sin was often times when I didn't go near these areas of known temptation. We have enough temptation that simply comes up, we need relocate to avoid the ones we know clearly about! This principle applies here- "Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned? Or can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched?" (Prov 6:27-28). If you go into areas of known temptation, odds are, you will be scorched.
- REVERE- I literally think to myself, "What if Jesus comes back right now? Would I want my Lord and Savior to return to me thinking about that? Aren't there better things to be doing when the teacher walks back into the class than imitating her or stealing her answer keys?" True reverence for Jesus chases sin away. Often times, we don't just need a behavior change; we need a heart change that leads to a behavior change. A heart that bleeds Bible, that thinks lofty thoughts of Jesus, is a safeguard against giving in to quick temptation.
- REFLECT- Defeating lust is like marinating meat. You must let the ribs sit in the marinade for awhile so that the tasty goodness sinks in. In the same way, when you are tempted, act slowly. For me, God's promises may not "work" the first time I tell them to myself. I need to let my heart sit in the marinade of His word for awhile before I can "taste and see that the Lord is good" (Ps. 34:8). Don't act quickly. The best thing to do when temptation arises is slow your emotions and thoughts down and just reflect.
- REHEARSE- Your heart is a muscle and it must be worked out. When you first start running, lifting weights, or exercising, your muscles hurt like crazy, and you can't stand it. You almost want to quit (I usually do and go sit on the couch!) In the same way, spiritually, realize that your heart is a muscle, and defeating lust is not easy at all! It will require so much discipline, and will hurt like crazy alot of the time. But you must keep going. Many guys have problems because its too hard, and they think it should be easier. But it's not easy. Not at all. Real men don't give in to lust because it's too hard. That's wimpy. Real men conquer lust (with Jesus' power).
- REALIZE- That there is victory in Jesus. You can defeat your sin in His strength (the same power that rose Jesus from the dead is in you!) Don't buy into the lie that it cannot be done.
From John Owen: "Men are galled with the guilt of a sin that hath prevailed over them; they instantly promise to themselves and God that they will do so no more; they watch over themselves, and pray for a season, until this heat waxes cold, and the sense of sin is worn off: and so mortification goes also, and sin returns to its former dominion. Duties are excellent food for an unhealthy soul; they are no physic for a sick soul. He that turns his meat into his medicine must expect no great operation. Spiritually sick men cannot sweat out their distemper with working. But this is the way of men who deceive their own souls"
ReplyDeleteIt truly is all about reliance on the Spirit.