Thoughts on Lust Part 2

I wrote the below in response to a question I got from a good friend about the last post. How do we do it? By grace, yes. And I pray there is grace enclosed in the below...Once again, these thoughts have undoubtedly been gathered from God's word, and counsel I've received from godly guys. If I used something one of you said to me once, don't get mad that I plagiarized, praise God that your counsel stuck with me!

Matt. 5:27- "I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart..."

Remember that what Jesus is talking about is looking at a girl with the purpose of lusting. That means looking at her and thinking about acting on the attraction. The attraction or presence of initial temptation is not wrong, since that's the way God wired us, but thinking on how you would fulfill that desire is sinful. Now practically speaking...

- REPLACE- Eph 4 tells us to "put off the old man...put on the new man"...What we need to realize is that you can never simply stop doing/thinking something sinful. You need to "replace" the sinful action with a "Godward" action. For example, turn the temptation into an opportunity to pray (it's funny how talking to God will chase away many a temptation!) Say, "Jesus, thank you for making women attractive. Please help show me how to serve the girls around me in a brotherly way so I can honor you and them, like you told me to in 1 Tim. 5:2. I thank you for my future wife and pray that I can honor her the best way possible. Thank you for the gift of sexuality and please help me to only act on it in accord with your word." You have just turned temptation into thanksgiving.

- RELOCATE- Make sure you are never putting yourself in harm's way. I never struggled with porn, but I knew which TV shows would have hot/semi-dressed girls on them. I knew that my Surfer magazine would have a few such ads. When I defeated my sin was often times when I didn't go near these areas of known temptation. We have enough temptation that simply comes up, we need relocate to avoid the ones we know clearly about! This principle applies here- "Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned? Or can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched?" (Prov 6:27-28). If you go into areas of known temptation, odds are, you will be scorched.

- REVERE- I literally think to myself, "What if Jesus comes back right now? Would I want my Lord and Savior to return to me thinking about that? Aren't there better things to be doing when the teacher walks back into the class than imitating her or stealing her answer keys?" True reverence for Jesus chases sin away. Often times, we don't just need a behavior change; we need a heart change that leads to a behavior change. A heart that bleeds Bible, that thinks lofty thoughts of Jesus, is a safeguard against giving in to quick temptation.

- REFLECT- Defeating lust is like marinating meat. You must let the ribs sit in the marinade for awhile so that the tasty goodness sinks in. In the same way, when you are tempted, act slowly. For me, God's promises may not "work" the first time I tell them to myself. I need to let my heart sit in the marinade of His word for awhile before I can "taste and see that the Lord is good" (Ps. 34:8). Don't act quickly. The best thing to do when temptation arises is slow your emotions and thoughts down and just reflect.

- REHEARSE- Your heart is a muscle and it must be worked out. When you first start running, lifting weights, or exercising, your muscles hurt like crazy, and you can't stand it. You almost want to quit (I usually do and go sit on the couch!) In the same way, spiritually, realize that your heart is a muscle, and defeating lust is not easy at all! It will require so much discipline, and will hurt like crazy alot of the time. But you must keep going. Many guys have problems because its too hard, and they think it should be easier. But it's not easy. Not at all. Real men don't give in to lust because it's too hard. That's wimpy. Real men conquer lust (with Jesus' power).

- REALIZE- That there is victory in Jesus. You can defeat your sin in His strength (the same power that rose Jesus from the dead is in you!) Don't buy into the lie that it cannot be done.

Thoughts for young men on lust...

"Your enemy the devil prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."

In my time walking with fellow young Christian men as an RA and in the local church, the struggle with lust seems to be a constant issue in someone's life. Being still a young man myself, I have listed several principles, in no particular order, that have helped me fight lust, and have helped others as well.

1. Sometimes you can't make it on your own. I have no idea what Bono was talking about in this U2 song by the same title, but I know it's true when it comes to lust. Actually, we can't ever make it on our own. What dudes need is a constant web of support from other godly guys.

2. Don't fake it. Hey the Bible (and even Jesus) knows that you're a sinner. And guess what- most people around you know it too (in fact, we are all pretty hideous in our own right). So when you fake it and pretend that things are going well, you just end up screwing yourself in the end. The message of the Bible when it comes to community is- I'm a sinner, you're a sinner, no surprises there. Now what are we, together, going to do to fight our sin? Boom shaka.

3. Take God at His word. There are some unbelievably scary things that the Bible says about lust. Let God's words soak in to your heart like hydrogen peroxide to an open wound, and sting you and kill all unholy thinking in you. Below is a little list of verses that I let speak to me over the years:

- Looking at a woman with lust is the same as having sex with her (Matthew 5:27-30) and bringing Jesus in the room to watch you do it (1 Cor. 6:15-17).

- Jesus says that a consistent lifestyle of unchecked lust means that you're not a child of God and you will be sent to hell. Do you feel the flames of hell when you're tempted? You should (Matt. 5:30)

- Lusting is acting as if you don't even know Jesus (1 Thess. 4:3-8). It is also giving the finger to the woman's future (or current) husband AND your future/current wife.

- Lusting is an inhumane & animal-like action that treats a woman like an object, not a person. I drool over ribeye, not over women (except my hot wife)...(Jer. 5:8).

- God looks at lust as if you were looking/acting at your sister (esp. if she's a fellow believer). My 2 sisters are both dating dudes right now (AC/DC) and the standard of living to all women who are not your wife should be "Would I be cool if I walked in on someone doing this to my sister? What would make me want to shake that guy's hand instead of ring his neck?" (1 Tim. 5:2).

4. Correspond your actions with REALITY. Porn/lust is easy because the women you look at aren't real. They never nag, never have a bad hair day, and never wake up on the wrong side of the bed. They're not real.

5. Live radically. Jesus says you should pull your eye out if it causes you to sin. His point is that you should live so radically and care about holiness so much, that you will sacrifice anything to please God. Not have internet in the house? On my phone? OMG that's so radical.

6. Don't kid yourself. Sexual desire is not wrong. Acting upon or fulfilling that desire in anyway on anyone or anything that is not your wife is hellishly (made that up?) wrong. Don't rationalize your sin by saying it's just one look, or you didn't actually do anything, or that every guy does it, etc, etc, etc. Don't make excuses. Be honest, ask God for help, ask your bros in Christ for help, and kill your sin.

7. Um, no, you haven't arrived. The moment you convince yourself that you have finally defeated your sin is the moment your sin begins to defeat you. If an army doesn't think there is a war, they are very susceptible to an attack. Keep your head on a swivel, because temptation is coming.

8. Do what Jesus did. In Matt. 4 & Luke 4, Jesus rid himself of temptation by appealing to God's word. Have a game plan for when temptation arises. What promises of God will you cling to? What lies is Satan telling you? How can God's word trump the lies of Satan? I always cling to Psalm 83:11- "No good thing does God withhold from him who walks uprightly." The lie of lust is often "You are missing out if you don't look/think/act. You are missing out on pleasure...." God says "No good thing are you missing out on if you follow my Word." If I believe that, it's a done deal, and I'm running out of the house of temptation naked like Joseph.

9. There is a way out. Take it. NOW! God says that there is always a way out in temptation (1 Cor. 10:13). However that "way out" may be at step 2 in the process of temptation. Sometimes, I asked God, "Why wasn't there a way out like you promised?" He said, "There was. It was just at a point far earlier than you expected, and you turned me down." Some of you do not need to go online alone at midnight. Your "way out" is before you turn the computer on. Some of you do not need to watch a movie alone in your room with homegirl. Your "way out" is before you closed that door. That being said, there is victory in Jesus. That's why he came and died for you- to make you holy (1 John 3:5!)

10. Worship God. Be Happy. Every practical struggle with lust comes down to an "idol" that you are desiring. It may be pleasure. It may be control. It may be comfort. It may be safety. The problem is that when you bow down to that god and let lust be the tool that your idol uses, you never actually get what you wanted. Maybe you struggled with porn because it is a relationship without rejection- power button, click, click, click, and you feel accepted! However, God has met all your needs in Christ. Need pleasure? Be satisfied in relationship with God and hang out with him (Phil. 3:8, Psalm 73:25-28, Psalm 27:4, Phil. 4:4). Need comfort? God is called the "God of all comfort" (2 Cor. 1:3). Need safety and security? God is your rock and refuge (Psalm 18:1-2). Need acceptance? How amazing that God has given you Jesus and accepts you as his child, not because of you, but because of Jesus! (1 John 3:1). Need control? No you don't! You need to relinquish control to the One who has promised to meet all your needs in Jesus (Phil 4:19). He also has said that nothing happens to you unless it is for your good and his glory (Rom. 8:28). So put God on his throne.

On Thanksgiving!

Last night, when my head hit the pillow after a tiring weekend in the heat, I literally said out loud, "Thank you Jesus for my bed." This set off a chain of thoughts about thanksgiving and reminded me of something I had written before, pasted below for your edification, enjoyment, and evaluation!

Some thoughts on gratitude to our God...

It seems interesting to me that often times when we are tempted to complain, be discontent, to not be joyful, we persuade ourselves into contentment and thanksgiving with comments like, "I have nothing to complain about," or "I have so much to be thankful for," or even, "I'm not impoverished in a third world country, what am I so down about?" Furthermore, it is interesting to me in my own prayer life and as i hear others pray that we pray with such gratitude, "Lord, we have so much to be thankful for: healthy bodies, a solid family, great education, great friends, good weather, nice clothes, and you provide food for us as well. Thank you Lord." Now these comments and prayers are completely innocent on the surface, but what can they possibly imply about our joy? Let me ask a question to myself here- Ryan, do you think that if you didn't have a healthy body or great family and friends, that you would indeed then have NOTHING to be thankful for? Or do you think that if you were impoverished in a third world country, you would indeed have something legitimate to complain about?

Too often in my own thoughts and prayers, I make God's physical blessings the ground of my joy and gratitude, and not God himself. I actually think that if I was poor or unhealthy, then indeed i could complain and be ungrateful. You see, my health and clothes and friends and education must not be the grounds of my joy or my thanksgiving. What should be then? God and God himself. Take this whole world, health, prosperity, friends, family, talents, freedoms, education, and leave me with Jesus and I will be more satisfied with only Him. I would, at that poor and lowly physical condition, still have nothing to complain about and everything to rejoice over and give thanks for. As the Psalmist writes, "Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none that I desire on earth besides You. My heart and my flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever" (Psalm 73:25-26).

The Sermons of our Culture

I nearly cried watching Michael Jackson's funeral the other day. And not because I will miss him, nor because of his daughter's tearful farewell, and definitely not because of my sore back thanks to my moonwalk attempts. I was heavy-hearted, not by the death of the king of pop, but by the dishonor given King Jesus.

Our culture is constantly preaching messages, through commercials, songs, movies, articles, and through the funeral the other day. The name of Jesus was referenced, heaven was spoken of, and yet the service closed with the message that, "We are the world," truth is relative, and let's accept all worldviews as equally valid (regardless of their correspondence with history, reality, etc.). Much else can be said, but my main concern is that the real, actual, living, historical Jesus is sharply misrepresented. The natural man affirms loudly and loves the big themes, for they make him 'feel' peace- "God is love," "We are all God's children," "Jesus gives hope and peace..." However, we detach these 'big themes' from the 'smaller' details, questions, and answers that make these big themes true! Jesus is peace! But how do we get that peace in light of our sin? God is love! But what does that love consist of, and what changes does it cause in our lives? The peace of Jesus & the love of God mean nothing if they don't answer questions and solve problems related to the plight of my soul and the glory of God. We want to affirm big, feel-good themes, but we want to detach them from reality, detach them from history, and therefore detach them from any real significance beyond a sound-bite.

I have thought of several biblical & Christian observations & responses to this example of a widespread issue that the church must face and engage in:

- Apologetics is a must-study for every Christian. You do apologetics on your couch.

- We are now a post-Christian society.

- We must have our minds ready for battle every day. Holy living starts with holy thinking.

- I'd rather ride a bumpy road to heaven with Jesus, than take a smooth one to hell without him.

- How does our Christian theology actually affect our morals? Does it?

- Is your day in, day out, faith based in history?

- What is your answer for the hope that is in you?

- Do all religions really lead to God?

- In our culture's worldview, who gets punished or goes to hell? Does anyone?'

- Can you explain what the "love of God" actually & practically means?

- What are your emotions when God & his word are disregarded? Are you hurt, heavy, & sad?

- Do you have love for the non-Christian? If so, how do you show it?

What other reactions do you have?

Sad Day

Something sad happened to me (in me?) today. I was perusing a church's website and was reading their vision, doctrine and mission statement. There, they mentioned something along the lines of "we want to be a church who...loves homosexuals..." The first thought that I had was, "Wow, I wonder if this church is solid..."

Undoubtedly- Jesus is the God who inhabited earth, attended parties, and was reamed by the religious elite for hanging out with & loving the prostitute and the tax collector. If it were God's plan for Jesus to physically walk the earth today, he would be reamed by the religious elite for being around & loving the homosexual.

Now, I am not faulting my thinking, nor am I faulting the church's wording on their website. But it is sad that we have gotten to a point in our church culture and our culture as a whole, where something biblical and Christ-like ("loving homosexuals") has been misinterpreted by the world and by many 'christians.' It is to the point where I read something that Jesus would have done ("love homosexuals"), and I wonder if they really mean something Jesus would not have done ("approve of the homosexual lifestyle"). The same phrase- "love homosexuals"- can apply (and has been applied) to an act that is God-honoring or to an act that is God-disgracing.

This is the world we live in. I didn't create this challenge or ask for it. But we must accept it- walk like Jesus and love the outcast. And be prepared to embrace the tension from the liberal (for condemning the sin) and from the self-righteous & arrogant legalist (for really, truly loving the sinner).

Tension- Worry vs. Wise Planning

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

Jesus here literally tells us not to worry about the most basic needs of life. Specifically, don't worry about your basic needs in the future, because your heavenly Father will provide them. Yet I know that I am still supposed to be a wise & good steward of the money I receive, as well as be a provider of my family, lest I be viewed as an unbeliever (1 Tim. 5:8). I love this passage, yet it is so hard to think through properly and to live out biblically. As a young married couple, just starting out paying my own stinking bills, saving, tithing, etc, these things are on my mind more than ever. Should I get life insurance? What is the best way to save my money for a house? Do I need to own a house? Should I start saving for retirement? But more important than my job, my paycheck, my distribution of my (ahem, God's) money, is my trust in my God. Yet if I am to not worry about my most basic needs 1, 2, 5, 10 years from now (according to Matt. 6 above), yet I am supposed to be a good steward of money and a provider for my family (1 Tim. 5:8), where should my wise planning end and my trust begin?

Jesus loves homosexuals too much to let them be

I wrote the below in response to (sadly) another article on a Christian pastor who affirms homosexual marriage.

It is sad to me that in the Christian community the media portrays 2 prominent positions on the issue of homosexual marriage: 1- We are hateful, primitive bigots who are too narrow minded to allow homosexuals "equal rights" to marry. 2- The mature, accepting, loving "Christians" who openly affirm the homosexual lifestyle and homosexual marriage (as in this article here). Can the media not be fair and see that, maybe, just maybe, many conservative Christians do indeed love, accept and affirm homosexuals, while disapproving of their lifestyle? Jesus himself loved and hung out with prostitutes and tax collectors, accepted the person, and commanded repentance from the lifestyle. And I do not disapprove of the homosexual lifestyle out of hatred and prejudice; rather, biblically, we disapprove of the lifestyle because we 1) love God and His word; 2) love the homosexual individual and do not want him/her to injure himself/herself by perverting the gift of sexuality that God has given; and 3) because we love mankind and society as a whole, and (rightly) view homosexuality as a perversion of true humanity that, if perpetuated, cannot lead to societal maturity and positive "progression." This has been preached time and time again through the media- that a person IS a homosexual the same way that some people are black, others are tall, and still others have brown eyes or large feet. Comparisons are constantly made to the civil rights movements of decades past, and it is assumed that homosexuality is no longer a matter of moral choice, but rather a matter of amoral preference, or a matter of identity. While there may be factors from one's upbringing or psyche that make homosexuality appealing, this inclination DOES NOT MAKE IT RIGHT! Does a bitter person who is inclined to murder or violent acts of anger get the green light due to sinful inclination? Does the person who is inclined to lie due to the example of his parents get a free pass? If we allow our sinful inclinations to become our identity, we are in dire straits, my friends. To be sure, God allows people to do as they choose; but as a Bible-believing Christian, my conscience is bound and my love for you is strong. In the same way that I would never let my child place his hand against a running chainsaw, or dip the electronic in a sink full of water, my love for you will not allow me to smile at a lifestyle that will grieve our God, harm your own soul, and harm mankind and society at large. I can do no other, because I love you!

*There are many other issues to discuss here- the role of gov't in defining marriage (& other societal values), the heterosexually sinful, the "separation of church & state", etc. Please comment or raise valid questions!